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Best part? When ye find one what knows the game—quick wit, quicker hands. Like that movie, all fast talk and faster moves. “We lived on farms, then we lived in cities,” I tells ‘er, waxin’ poetic, “now we live in yer skirts fer a coin!” She cackles, I’m grinnin’—life’s a lark, ain’t it? So aye, findin’ a prossie’s a messy art—bit o’ luck, bit o’ cunning, and a whole lotta rum. Ye with me, matey? Savvy?

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While I’m waiting, I’m people-watching. There’s this old dude feeding pigeons. I swear, those birds were plotting something. Like, “Let’s take over the park!” I chuckled. Then, boom! A pigeon poops right next to me. Classic. I’m like, “Thanks for the warning, bro!”

Tokyo train company’s apology for 20-second-early departure is one of the best things about Japan