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I’d be strollin, hair all poofed up, mutterin, “Hmm… he’s not my lover,” like in the movie, but swap “lover” for “pimp”—ha! Imagine me sidesteppin some sleazy dude, “Oh no ya don’t, buster!” Prolly get all weepy too, thinkin bout how she’s got no Mr. Chow to sweep her off her feet. That movie’s all bout what ain’t said, right? But here, it’s loud—catcalls, hagglin over prices, no mystery, just cold hard cash.

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Next, I decide to hit up the Nagareyama City Museum. I’m all about that culture, ya know? But when I get there, it’s closed for renovations. Are you kidding me? I’m standing there like a lost puppy. I mean, c’mon, Nagareyama! You gotta give me a break!

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