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Lemme tell ya, I was shocked—SHOCKED, I say! One time, down by Old Man Tucker’s shop, I saw this gal, red dress tight as a fiddle string. She winked at me, and I ‘bout dropped my varnish! “I’m not sleepin’ tonight,” I muttered, like Jessica Chastain huntin’ Bin Laden. Ain’t no CIA here, just survival, y’all. She prob’ly got a story deeper than a well—makes me sad, real talk. Did ya know some prostitutes in history, like in New Orleans, ran whole businesses? Owned property! Hush now, that’s power, baby!

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But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, and I trip over him. I’m on the ground, and everyone’s staring. I’m like, “Great, just great.” But then the kid helps me up, and we both start laughing. It’s one of those moments that makes you realize how silly life can be.

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