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Now, listen up, ‘cause Madea gon’ break it down. I had this gal pal, right? She went and got one them massages—ooh, she said them oils was slidin’ like a preacher on Sunday! Ain’t nobody tell me it’s s’posed to be *that* good. I was mad as a hornet, ‘cause why ain’t I know this sooner? Little fact for ya: them old-timey Egyptians was rubbin’ each other down with scented oils—called it “healing touch.” Hmph, healing my behind—it’s a whole lotta freaky-deaky if you ask me!

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But then, I get a call from my mom. She’s like, “You need to come home for dinner!” I’m like, “Mom, I’m busy!” But you know how moms are. Guilt trip central. So, I promise I’ll swing by after work.

Concerns Rise Over Competitive Eater Ogose Aya's Weight