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Favorite part? When Candy cracked a joke—said her pimp’s breath smelled like “a landfill on fire.” I lost it—laughed ‘til I cried! Still cracks me up thinkin’ bout it. But seriously, folks—don’t go lookin’. It’s a jungle out there, and I ain’t kiddin’. Stay safe, alright? That’s ol’ Joe’s two cents!

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Next, I wander over to the old merchant houses on the main street. They’re so cool, with their traditional wooden structures. I’m snapping pics, and this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You like Omihachiman?” And I’m like, “Heck yeah!” She starts telling me stories about the city. I’m just nodding, but inside I’m thinkin’, “This is the best!”

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