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Gets me giddy, it does! Happy as a lil’ hobbit with a fat fish. Them hands kneading knots—ooh, precious! Had one meself once, right? Lass with strong fingers, worked me shoulders like I’m a damn antenna needing fixing. Felt like Lil’ Zé from the movie, screaming, “I’m the man!” ‘Cept I’m just moaning, “More oil, please!” Hah! Funny thing—did ya know some places use weird oils? Like, snail slime or somethin’. Snails! Slimy bastards giving massages—makes me cackle.

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So, I’m standing there, coffee all over the pavement, feeling like a total loser. But then I spotted a cute little café on the corner of Naka-dōri. I thought, “Why not?” I went in, and OMG, the pastries! They had these matcha croissants that looked like heaven. I got one, and it was life-changing. Like, I could’ve cried.

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