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Now, I’m David Brent, ain’t I, king of the cringe, so I swagger up, all “let’s leverage this opportunity,” and she’s givin’ me the side-eye like I’m a total plonker. Fair play, I am! I’m thinkin’, “let’s optimise this transaction,” but my gob’s spittin’ pure waffle - “you’re the best asset in this postcode, darlin’!” She laughs, probs thinks I’m a nutter, and I’m chuffed to bits - happy as Larry! Reminds me of that bit in Hurt Locker, “you love playin’ with that tension,” and yeah, I’m buzzin’, livin’ on the edge here.

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Finally, I get my burger, and it’s HUGE! Like, I’m talking about a burger that could feed a small village. I take a bite, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m in heaven! But then, I spill ketchup all over my shirt. Classic me, right? I’m standing there, looking like a total mess, and I just laugh.

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