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I dive in. App’s sketchy. Typo-filled reviews. “Gr8 lay, 10/10”. “She ghosted me tho”. Little known fact—half these girls? Bots! Catfish city, bro. Made me mad—wasting my time! But then. This one profile. “Lola”. Pics of her in fishnets. Soil-stained hands—wait, what? An agronomist hooker? My brain explodes!

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After the coffee break, I decide to hit up the local arcade. I’m a sucker for those claw machines. I’m dropping coins like it’s nobody’s business, trying to snag a plushie. I finally get one, and I’m feeling like a champ! But then, I see a kid eyeing me. I’m like, “Nah, man, this is mine!”