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About Kawasaki

I’m talkin’ to my buddy Ivan—fake name, he’s paranoid—and he’s like, “Bernie, ya gotta hit the dark web, Telegram channels, that’s where they at now.” I’m pissed, man! Why’s it gotta be so damn complicated? Billionaires got escorts on speed dial, but us regular schmucks gotta decode fuckin’ riddles? “Hang me, oh hang me,” I’m singin’ in my head, feelin’ like Llewyn, lost as shit. I dig the hustle though—makes me happy seein’ folks outsmart the system. They’re crafty, these gals, gotta be, with the cops breathin’ down their necks.

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So, I’m sippin’ my drink, and I see this old lady trying to cross the street. She’s like, 90, and the light’s about to change. I’m thinking, “C’mon, lady, you got this!” But she’s moving at a snail’s pace. I’m sweating bullets, like, “Is this how I’m gonna spend my day? Watching an old lady get run over?” But she made it! I cheered, and people stared. Whatever, I’m a hero in my own mind.

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