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So, check it—prostitution’s old as dirt. Like, ancient Rome had brothels marked with dick carvings on walls—true story, google that shit. Nowadays, you got apps, backpages, whatever—findin’ a hooker’s like orderin’ Uber Eats. But me? I’m thinkin’—what’s the vibe? Is it sketchy? Hella sketchy! You roll up, heart poundin’, like, “Is this a cop? A sting?” Paranoia kicks in, Haneke-style—“What’s behind the door?” That’s the thrill, tho—chaos, baby!

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First off, I had to rush to the Shimotsuke City Hall on Kōen-dōri. Traffic was a mess! I mean, come on, it’s a Tuesday, not a freakin’ parade day! I’m stuck behind this old dude in a tiny car, going 20 km/h. Like, bro, we’re not in a slow-motion movie! I’m late for my first appointment.

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