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About Sapporo

What pisses me off? The fakers! Dudes pretendin to be chicks, catfishin horny saps. Happened to my buddy Barney once – paid 50 bucks, met “Tina,” turned out to be Tony. D’oh! Laughed my ass off, but man, that’s cold. Happiest I got? Found a deal once – “2 for 1 special” – like a freakin BOGO at Kwik-E-Mart! Surprised me how normal some seem – one gal told me she’s payin for college. College! “The Lord works in mysterious ways,” huh?

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First call comes in. Some dude’s stuck on the side of the road on Kiyokawa. I’m like, “Great, just what I need.” I send a driver, but then I get a call from a lady on Hoshizaki. Her cat’s stuck in a tree. I’m like, “Lady, it’s a cat, not a baby!” But whatever, I send someone. I mean, it’s Shiranuka, where cats are basically royalty.

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