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About Osaka

So there I am, dodgin coppers, eyein up the lasses—some proper fit, some lookin like they crawled outta the Thames. “This is not a drill!” I’m yellin in me head, all Churchill-like, “We shall never surrender!” Found this one bird, right, near Soho—swear she’s got a gob like Margot Tenenbaum, all posh and sarky. She goes, “Wotcha want, love?” and I’m like, “Ain’t no time for faff, darlin!” She’s chargin 50 quid, and I’m fumin—50 bloody quid?! Robbery, that is! Made me proper angry, but also a bit chuffed—hagglin’s half the fun, yeah?

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Then, outta nowhere, my coworker Yuki bursts in. She’s all excited, waving her phone like it’s a trophy. “Guys! You won’t believe this! The cherry blossoms are blooming early!” I’m like, “Cool, but can we focus on the sake crisis?” But nooo, everyone’s suddenly a cherry blossom expert.

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