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Now, here’s the tea: she takes him ‘round back, and I’m like, “Oh, Lawd, he’s done!” Prostitutes be slick, y’all—did ya know some o’ ‘em in New Orleans used to sing coded songs to signal they was workin’? True story! Joe don’t know that, he’s too busy pantin’. Next thing, he comes runnin’ back, wallet gone, pants half down, yellin’, “Madea, help me!” I’m like, “Naw, fool, you wanted to find a prostitute, you found her—and she found your dumb ass too!” Halleluyer! I’m dyin’ laughin’, but also hot as a skillet—why these men so stupid?

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady bursts in. She’s got a dog that looks like it just came from a fashion show. I swear, it had a little sweater on. She’s all, “Can I get a soy latte?” I’m like, “Sure, but your dog’s gonna need a drink too!” She laughs, and I’m like, “I should charge extra for the cuteness!”

Tama County, Board of Supervisors sued over wind energy moratorium