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About Kyoto

Once knew this guy, Tony—swore he met a hooker who only took Bitcoin. Bitcoin! Who’s got that lyin’ around? Laughed my ass off, but he was dead serious. Said she was classy, too—like, high-end call girl vibes. “I use sex to fill the void,” Brandon says in the movie, and I’m like, damn, Tony’s livin’ that. Me, I’m just tryna promote the good life, y’know?

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Kōen-dōri. You know, the one with the best onigiri? I grabbed a tuna mayo one, my fave. But guess what? They were outta stock! Like, seriously? Who runs outta onigiri? I was fuming. I mean, c’mon, it’s Tanashicho! Get your act together!