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But then—THEN—she drops this bomb: “You look like a nervous accountant.” Me! Larry freakin’ David! I’m insulted, I’m yellin’ in my head, “I’m a legend, lady!” But I laugh—cackle, really—‘cause it’s funny, she’s not wrong. I’m a mess! I ask, “How’s business?” She shrugs, says, “Eh, slow. Apps killed the street game.” Apps! Can ya believe it? Prostitutes got Uber-ized! I’m shocked, jaw on the floor.

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Yo, lemme tell ya about my day in Tanashicho. Man, it was a wild ride! I woke up, and the sun was blazin’ through my window. I thought, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.