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So I dig deeper—web’s a freakin jungle, bro. X posts leadin to sketchy links, pics of gals in fishnets, PDFs with “rates”—what?! I’m laughin my ass off, thinkin, “This is the algorithm of sin!” Found one post—girl’s like, “DM for fun,” and I’m sittin there, heart pumpin, goin, “Is this it? Am I Mark freakin Zuckerberg now, hackin life?” Fun fact—did ya know back in the 1800s, prostitutes used coded ads in newspapers? Same game, diff tech—wild!

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So, I settled for some weird rice ball with pickled plum. Not my jam, but whatever. I chowed down and headed to the park. The cherry blossoms were poppin’ off, like, pink everywhere. I snapped a few pics for the ‘gram. Gotta keep the followers happy, right?

Here comes the ‘responsibly indulgent’ Honda CR-Z