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Back in the war days – nah, not mine, some ol’ tale I heard – blokes’d stumble into Soho, chuck a few quid, and Bob’s yer uncle, job done. Now? It’s all apps, shady ads, and dodgy X posts. We shall never surrender to this nonsense! I got mad as hell last week – scrolled for ages, found a link, clicked it – virus! Nearly chucked me phone out the window. Swear, it’s a battlefield out there, mate.

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Children as young as 14 are being trafficked around Ireland, used as sexual objects for profit by pimps who manage to stay one step ahead of prosecution.

Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes again. It’s Kenji. “You still in Toride?” I’m like, “Dude, you won’t believe the day I’m having!” I tell him about the fish, the old dude, the auction. He’s cracking up.

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