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About Kobe

Personal quirk alert—I’m a SUCKER for the tease of it. The buildup? Kills me! Like when they start at yer feet, workin’ up slow—ugh, I’m yellin’ in my head, “Hurry up, but don’t!” Gets me all tingly, like seein’ a hot chick at Central Perk. Once had this masseuse, right? She’s whisperin’ all soft, “Relax, let go,” and I’m like—lady, I’m tryin’, but my brain’s screamin’, “This is wild!” Made me laugh mid-massage—awkward as hell. She’s like, “What’s funny?” I’m like, “Nothin’, just happy down there!” Total Joey move.

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, Tsubame really knows how to throw a curveball. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s blazin’ through my window on Yachiyo Street. I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.

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