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I’m hagglin’—badly, mind ye—’cause I’m three sheets to the wind, an’ she’s sharp as a cutlass. “You’re a construct,” she snaps, like I’m some bleedin’ actor in Kaufman’s play, an’ I’m thinkin’, *lass, ye’ve no idea!* That got me riled, aye—don’t ye dare call Cap’n Jack a puppet! But then she winks, an’ I’m happy as a clam, ‘cause she’s got sass, an’ I like ‘em feisty. “Savvy?” I slur, an’ she rolls her eyes—fair ‘nough!

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After the parade, I’m feeling all kinds of good. I head back to the office, and my boss is still grumpy. But I’m like, “Dude, life’s too short!” He just rolls his eyes.

Special Report – Mistakes, Misfortune, Meltdown: Japan’s Crisis