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Sometimes it’s funny—awkward moans, slippery floors, oops! Reminds me of Toni fakin it as a life coach—“You need to let go!” he’d yell, while I’m over here slippin on massage oil! Total hot mess! I’d be like, “Oh honey, this ain’t no regular backrub!” Ya gotta know—pros use warm stones sometimes. Little known fact—feels like heaven, swear! Once had this gal—pro masseuse—tell me she cured a guy’s headache with ONE sexy neck rub. ONE! I’m like, sign me UP!

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As the sun starts to set, I’m feeling a bit better. I head to the local market on Yachimata Street. It’s bustling! Fresh veggies, street food, and all the good stuff. I grab some takoyaki, and it’s so good, I almost cry. I mean, who knew octopus balls could bring so much joy?

2 killed as truck driven by drunk man hits kids near Tokyo