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Growlin’, “You merely adopted the dark,” I see it clear. People ghostin’ after a quickie—pisses me off! Like, mate, say “ta-ta” at least. Happened to me once—met this lass, proper fit, on Tinder. Chatted, vibed, smashed at hers. Next day? Poof! Gone. Felt like NJ in “Yi Yi,” wonderin’ what’s real. “Is this all there is?” he’d say. Me too, bruv.

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Finally, after what feels like an eternity, Mr. Whiskers decides he’s had enough of the drama and jumps down. The crowd goes wild! I swear, I’ve never seen people cheer for a cat like that. It’s like we just won the World Cup or something.