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Here’s a mad one for ya – heard tell of a prossie in Amsterdam once charged a bloke in tulips! True story, mate, swear on me nan’s grave. Got me thinkin – what’s the weirdest thing I’d pay with? Socks? A kebab? Laughed me arse off picturin that. Anyway, this lass, she’s all business, no chit-chat. “Time is short, act quickly” – movie line again, fit perfect. We duck into this dodgy flat, smells like damp and despair. She’s quick, efficient – bit like an assassin herself, in and out, job done.

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The smells hit me first. Fish, spices, and something that smells like burnt rubber? I dunno, but it’s Anseong, so whatever. I’m walking through the stalls, dodging old ladies with their carts, and I see this dude selling tteokbokki. I mean, come on, who can resist that? I grab a stick and chow down. Spicy, sweet, and just the right amount of chaos.

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