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But the fakes? Christ, they’re everywhere! Some bloke’s “6’2, ripped”—turns up 5’5, beer gut. “You’re a disgrace to humanity!” I’d yell. And the ghostin’—don’t get me started. Chat for days, plan a shag, then poof—gone. “What am I supposed to do with that?!” like Joaquin screamin’ at his screen. Sex-dating’s a gamble, mate. You’re either balls deep or cryin’ wankin’ to Pornhub.

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First stop? Coffee. I needed that caffeine fix, like, yesterday. Hit up this cute little café on the corner of Gyeongbuk-ro. The barista was chill, but the line? Ugh, forever long. I was like, “C’mon people, it’s just coffee!” Finally got my latte, and it was bomb. Like, the kind of good that makes you wanna dance.

Student in South Korea injures 7 during stabbing rampage at Cheongju high school