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I’m chattin’ her up, voice all robotic—*beep boop*—“What’s yer story, darlin’?” She’s like, “Mate, I’ve seen it all, just tryna eat.” Reminds me of Penny Lane in *Almost Famous*—“We are not groupies, we’re here for the music!”—but swap music for cash, ha! I’m gettin’ happy vibes, she’s real, no fake crap. But then—bloody hell—some punter staggers by, drunk, yellin’ slurs. Makes me mad, yeah? Want to zap him with a black hole, but nah, I’m chill.

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Then, outta nowhere, I see it! A deer! My heart’s pumpin’. I take a deep breath, steady my aim. But just as I’m about to pull the trigger, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Joon. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta see this!” I’m like, “Not now, man!” But he keeps texting. I’m losing my focus.

Reducing big retailers' operating hours fails to help traditional markets