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But chile, what got me mad? These fake parlors tryna scam folks! Actin’ like they ‘bout that life—$20 for a “happy endin’,” and you just get some lotion and a pat! I was HOT! Screamin’, “You ain’t worth a damn!” like I’m directin’ my own drama. Then I tried it myself—ooh, this gal in Macon had me floatin’, I’m talkin’ “The world’s watching me!” vibes from the movie. Surprised me how them knots in my back popped loose—felt like a new woman!

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So, I’m already kinda annoyed, but whatever. I head over to the Gwangmyeong Cave. It’s this super cool spot, right? I thought it’d be a chill walk, but nah, it’s packed with tourists. Like, can’t a person enjoy some stalactites in peace? I’m dodging kids and selfie sticks everywhere. I swear, I almost lost it when some kid bumped into me. I was like, “Watch it, mini tornado!”

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