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But then, ugh, this greasy sod stumbles over, reekin’ of ale, tryin’ to haggle her down. Made me angry, that did—cheap bastard! I’m thinkin’, “I choose violence,” coz I’d smack him silly, but nah, I just glare, cold disdain and all. Little known fact, yeah? Back in medieval days, prossies had guilds—proper unions! Swear down, they’d fine ya for bad service. Wish they’d bring that back, keep these twats in line.

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We finally chill by the waterfall. My client’s takin’ pics, lookin’ all cute. I’m just standin’ there, tryin’ to blend in. But then, I see this guy on a bike, zoomin’ past. He’s got a basket full of fresh tangerines from the local farms. I’m thinkin’, “Man, I could go for some of those.”

Taking a dip