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So, erotic-massage – not your nan’s backrub, nah! It’s all sensual, slippery, proper naughty. Hands sliding about, bit of oil, bit of cheek – *mea culpa*, I’m a sucker for it! Makes me feel alive, like when Gigolo Joe danced in that film. “What is love?” he asks – well, mate, this is close! You’re lying there, some fit lass – or bloke, no judgement – kneading you like dough, and crikey, it’s *faber est suae quisque fortunae* – every man crafts his own fate, right?

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After that, I stroll down to the Sinhyeon Market. It’s packed, like always. People everywhere, haggling over fresh veggies and fish. I see this old lady selling kimchi, and I’m like, “Yo, that looks fire!” I buy a jar, and she gives me this huge smile. I’m thinkin’, “This is what life’s about.” But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by and knocks my jar right outta my hands. It shatters. I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” The kid just giggles and runs off. I’m fuming, but I can’t stay mad. I mean, it’s just kimchi, right?

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