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So, this one time, I’m thinkin’—erotic-massage, animated? Hands moving, slow frames, sexy as hell. Exaggerate the oil, shiny, over-the-top, boom! Scarlett Johansson’s voice in my head, “You’re not hopeless.” Ha, sarcastic me—hopeless? I’d kill at this. Knots in back, gone, poof, magic fingers. Surprised me once—therapist hummed, creepy but hot.

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So, I’m sipping my latte, and I see this group of kids playing soccer in the park. They’re having a blast, and I’m just sitting there, feeling all nostalgic. I used to play soccer back in the day. But now? I’m just chasing sheep. Life’s funny like that, huh?

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