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So, here’s me, searchin’ for a prossie—bit of a lark, bit of a muck-up. Why? Dunno, felt like it—life’s a shambles sometimes, eh? Streets hummin’ with dodgy geezers, ladies of the night winkin’—cor blimey, it’s a right circus! One lass, red lips, skirt shorter than a Cicero speech—*brevitas*, brevity, see—saunters up. “Fancy a go, love?” she says. I’m flustered, ramblin’— “Err, umm, rather, eugepae, splendid!”—total twit, me.

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I get to the apartment, and it’s a mess. I mean, who lives like this? The living room looks like a tornado hit it. I’m trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m like, “What the heck, man?” I start pointing out the good stuff, like the view of the Han River. “Look at that!” I say, but all I can think is, “This place needs a miracle.”

Fact Check: A bridge from South Korea viral as 'Jammu National Highway'