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Whitney, dude, she’s the ultimate diva – voice like an angel, but offstage? Total trainwreck! Makes me wanna yell, “Eat my shorts!” at the paparazzi houndin’ her. Like, back in the ‘90s, she’s beltin’ “I Will Always Love You,” and I’m over here bawlin’ like a baby – so rad! But then, bam, she’s hooked up with Bobby Brown, and I’m like, “D’oh! What’s this crap?” That dude was trouble, man, got her all twisted up – pissed me off big time!

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But then, I got lost. Yup, classic me. I took a wrong turn and ended up in some random neighborhood. I was like, “Great, now I’m gonna be a lost tourist.” But then, this old lady saw me and started chatting. She didn’t speak much English, but her smile was universal. She offered me some homemade rice cakes. I was like, “Heck yes!”

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