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Oi, precious! Me, Gollum, loves danger, yesss – sexual-massage, so risky, so slippery! Hiss! Me thinks it’s wild, mate – hands roamin’, oil everywhere, folks payin’ for “relaxation,” ha! We sees it, don’t we, precious? Them sneaky parlors, dodgy vibes – some legit, some… not so much. Me fave flick, *Before Sunset*, fits this, yesss – “Time is a lie,” Jesse says, and ain’t that true here? Clock ticks, tension builds, then – boom – “happy endin’” or coppers bustin’ in! Hiss!

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Finally, I get my coffee, and I’m feeling a bit better. I sit down, and this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You’re the clergyman, right? My cat needs a blessing.” I’m like, “Sure, why not?” So, I end up blessing her cat in the middle of the café. People are staring, and I’m just rolling with it.

Researcher Spots Critically Endangered Yellow-breasted Bunting in Loktak