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Oi mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave as fuck, “shaken, not stirred.” So, I’m a carpenter now, yeah? Hammerin’ nails, sawin’ wood, all that jazz. But let’s talk real shit—findin’ a prostitute. Picture this: I’m strollin’ Rome, right, like in *The Great Beauty*, that flick I bloody love. “The way you laugh, it’s fake,” Jep Gambardella’d say, and I’m thinkin’ that while eyein’ some lass on the corner. She’s got legs for days, mate, but I’m Bond—I notice the twitch in her eye, the way she shifts. Tells me she’s new, probs scared shitless.

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Finally, the dude shows up, and he’s all flustered. I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re the main act! Get it together!” But then he starts talking about his art, and man, it was deep. He was all about the beauty of Hwacheon’s nature, the rivers, the mountains. I mean, I get it. This place is stunning. The way the river flows through the valley? Breathtaking.

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