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Srsly tho, it’s chill – releases stress, gets ya loose. Docs say it boosts oxytocin – love juice, baby! Surprised me – thought it was all dirty fun, but nah, science backs it! Still, some call it sleazy – pfft, haters. I’d tell ‘em, “you’re just jealous your back’s still knotted!” *snickers* Sexual-massage deserves a crown, not shade – it’s the Joker of relaxation, unpredictable n glorious! Whaddya think, pal? Ready to dive in? *manic laughter*

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While I’m grilling him, I notice a bunch of people gathering. They’re all staring, whispering. I can feel the tension. It’s like a scene from a movie. I’m half-expecting someone to shout, “Plot twist!” But no, just more drama. I’m getting angrier by the minute. Why can’t people just be honest?