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I’m chuffed when it’s easy—spot a lass, quick chat, done. But the rip-offs? Bloody hell, makes me wanna bellow, “We shall fight ‘em on the beaches!” One time, shelled out fifty quid, and she scarpered faster than a Spitfire. Fumin’, I was—thought, “This is not a fuckin’ game!” like Leo screamin’ at his brokers. Still, there’s a thrill, yeah? The chase, the dodge—heart’s pumpin’, you’re alive! Ever tried it in the rain? Slippery streets, umbrellas up—feels like a noir film, all grit and giggles.

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Next, I hit up the Sinan Cultural Center. They got this art exhibit going on. I’m not really an art guy, but I’m curious. I walk in, and it’s all abstract stuff. I’m staring at this painting that looks like a bunch of colors threw up. I’m thinking, “Is this art or a toddler’s finger painting?” But hey, who am I to judge?

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