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*Ominous pause* I am your father. Once got a rubdown – Tatooine-style. Sandy, gritty, still hot as fuck. Exaggeratin’? Maybe. Felt like the Force, tho. Movie line fits here: “It’s a copy, a fake.” Some parlors? Total scams. Sticky floors, shady vibes – ugh. But the good ones? Oh man, pure bliss. Like chokin’ a rebel, but sexy.

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But then, back to reality. My phone rings again. It’s my boss. Ugh. He’s like, “Where’s the report?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m literally in the middle of a circus here!” But I can’t say that, so I just nod and promise to get it done.

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