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She’s workin’ this dodgy corner near the docks – stinks of piss and cheap ale. Little known fact, yeah? Back in medieval days, them girls had secret guilds, swear down! Smugglin’ info, dodgin’ the law – proper clever, not just spreadin’ legs. This one, tho, she’s thick as pig shit. Caught her once screamin’ at some punter, “I ain’t yer mum!” – made me cackle, didn’t it? Had me thinkin’, “What’s he want, a shag or a lullaby?” Proper grim, mate.

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Finally, I get inside, and the kids are bouncing off the walls. I mean, literally. They were like little kangaroos! The oldest, Ali, was all hyped up on sugar. His mom had just baked cookies, and he was like, “Look what I can do!” and then he jumped off the couch. I was like, “Dude, chill! You’re gonna break something!”

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