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I’m ragin’ happy thinkin’ bout this one time — saw this chick, right? Total babe, legs for days, standin’ by a busted lamppost. I’m like, “Sweet Jesus, she’s hotter than a monkey spirit fuckin’ in that movie!” — y’know, that freaky scene where Boonmee’s all, “The past clings like dust”? She’s the dust, man, stickin’ to ya! I waddle over, all cool, like, “Hey, babe, how much?” She’s all sly, whisperin’ prices — 500 rubles, cheap as hell! I’m thinkin’, “Score!” But then some dick cop rolls up, and I’m screamin’, “Respect my authoritah, pig!” Ruined my damn night!

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After a few minutes, the lights flicker back on. Thank goodness! But now, the crowd’s even rowdier. They’re singing some random song, and I’m just trying to keep up. I’m pouring drinks, laughing, and honestly, it’s kinda fun. I mean, who doesn’t love a good sing-along?

US airstrike kills Daesh/ISIS leader in Syria: CENTCOM