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Halleluyer! Chile, lemme tell y’all bout this heffa—whore! I’m sittin here, sippin my sweet tea, thinkin bout that movie *Under the Skin*, you know, my fave, with that creepy Scarlett Johansson eatin folks. Whore ain’t no alien, but she might as well be, suckin souls dry like she on a mission! “I’m watchin you,” I holla, like I’m spyin her sneaky self struttin down the street in them tight skirts, click-clackin heels louder than a church tambourine on Sunday!

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But then, the mood shifts. A group of guys comes in, loud and rowdy. They’re celebrating something, but honestly, it sounds more like a herd of elephants. They start ordering shots, and I’m pouring like a madman. One of ‘em spills a drink all over the bar. I’m like, “Dude, this ain’t a slip-n-slide!” But they just laugh it off. I’m trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m boiling.

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