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About Salmiya

He’s a looker tho, innit – sleek, shiny, bit of a slag with the mares. Reckon he thinks he’s in *The Great Beauty*, struttin’ for the fillies. “Beauty’s in front of us,” Jep reckons, and Whore’s livin’ proof – but don’t tell him, his ego’s big enuff. Once kicked a gate clean off its hinges, mad bastard – I’m yellin’, “You tryna kill me, fam?” Still, he’s a legend, flaws and all. Ain’t no horse like Whore, bruv – he’s the don, the king, the geezer. Respect!

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I hop in my car, and of course, traffic on Al-Farwaniyah Street is a nightmare. I’m sittin’ there, cursing under my breath. “Come on, people! It’s not rocket science!” I mean, how hard is it to drive? I’m about to lose it when I see this dude on a scooter zoom past. I’m like, “Man, I need one of those!”