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Alright, listen up, folks! Imagine me, Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—talkin’ to ya about findin’ a prostitute. Yeah, I said it! Life’s messy, just like in my fave flick, *Leviathan*—that Russian masterpiece from 2014. Dark, gritty, real as hell. “The truth is out there,” like Kolya says in the movie, and I’m spillin’ it now!

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But then, as I’m leavin’, I bump into this old friend, Ahmed. We used to hang out back in the day. He’s all about that fitness life now, lookin’ like a Greek god. I’m over here, still rockin’ my “I love carbs” shirt. We catch up, and it’s all good vibes until he mentions this new gym on Al-Masjid Street. Apparently, it’s got everything—weights, yoga, even a smoothie bar. I’m like, “Great, just what I need. Another place to feel bad about my life choices.”

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