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I knew this one chick. Back in ’98. Called herself Sapphire. Real name? Linda. Boring – right? She’d hustle Times Square. Before it got all Disney-fied. She told me – get this – she once banged a guy. For a *sandwich*. A SANDWICH! I laughed. Then cried. That’s – desperation. Made me mad. World’s cruel. To dames like her. But she was tough. Like – *“I’m an incorrigible”* tough. Straight outta Wes Anderson’s script.

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Then, this guy walks in. He’s got a huge smile and a bouquet of flowers. I’m like, “What’s this, a rom-com?” Turns out, he’s proposing to his girlfriend. He gets down on one knee right in front of the bar. Everyone’s cheering, and I’m just standing there, trying not to spill anything. She says yes, and the place erupts! I’m pouring champagne like it’s going outta style.

14 dead, including Iranians, in Syria strikes attributed to Israel — report