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Favorite part, hmm? When it’s done right—slow, steamy, like Hans Landa toyin’ with ya nerves. “I’ve been waiting for this moment,” I’d whisper, feelin’ muscles melt. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but damn, it’s a vibe! Ever tried it with oils? Slippery as a Basterd’s lie—messy, fun, chaotic.

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First off, I hit up the local bazaar on Abay Street. You know, the one where you can find everything from fresh veggies to those weird dried fish that smell like they’ve been through a time warp. I’m just minding my own business, looking for some parts for a vintage watch I’m fixin’. Suddenly, this old dude starts yelling about how his watch is “the best in Atbasar.” I’m like, “Bro, it’s a plastic Casio from the ‘90s.” But hey, who am I to crush dreams?

ASBC Heroes – Kazakhstan’s two-time National Champion and ASBC Asian Schoolboys Champion Batyrkhan Seitenov