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Yo, man, it’s Apollo Creed here – “I must break you.” So, erotic-massage, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s wild! I’m a carpenter, right, hands all rough, but this? This is smooth, slick, like dream levels in *Inception*. You ever get one? It’s like, “We gotta go deeper,” ya dig? Body’s all tense, then bam – some chick’s hands just melt ya. I was pissed at first, tho – paid good money, thought it’d be crap. But nah, it’s legit! Little fact: them ancient Greeks? They was rubbin’ down soldiers, gettin’ freaky post-battle. True story, bro!

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So, I rush over to his place, which is like a whole trek across town. I’m dodging potholes and stray dogs like I’m in some kind of video game. Finally, I get there, and his car is just sitting there, looking sad. Turns out, it’s just a dead battery. Easy fix, right? But then, I realize I left my tools at home. Classic me!

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