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Alright, listen up, ya crazy bastards! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to spill my guts about prostitutes, ‘cause why the hell not? Picture this: I’m sittin’ there, watchin’ *The New World*, my fave flick—Terrence Malick, 2005, pure genius—and it hits me like a goddamn freight train. “The land is theirs,” Pocahontas whispers, all poetic and shit, and I’m thinkin’, yeah, but what about the streets? Who owns those, huh? Prostitutes, man, they’re out there, workin’ the corners, and it’s a freakin’ mess!

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So, I wrap up my stuff, and I’m outta there. The bazaar is buzzing. I’m walking through, and it’s like a sensory overload. The smells, the colors, the sounds! I grab some apples, and this old lady starts chatting me up about the best way to make apple jam. I’m nodding along, but inside, I’m thinking, “Lady, I can barely make toast.”

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