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Ooh, imagine me visitin’ one—strictly for research, ‘kay? I’d strut in, nasal voice blarin’, “Gimme the deets, ladies!” They’d prob laugh, like, “Who’s this broad?” I’d sip tea—not coffee, gotta switch it up—and soak in the vibes. Kinda glam, kinda grimy—red velvet everywhere, smells like cheap perfume and regret. Reminds me of *Brooklyn*’s line, “You’ll feel so homesick you’ll wanna die,” but flip it—some gals there prolly felt that daily.

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I decide to confront my boss. He’s not gonna like this. I walk into his office, and he’s on the phone, looking all serious. I’m pacing, trying to keep my cool. Finally, he hangs up, and I spill the beans. His face goes pale. “Are you sure?” he asks. I nod, and he starts pacing too.

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