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Now, as David Brent, I’d say it’s a “team-building exercise”—ha! Imagine me pitchin’ this to the lads at Wernham Hogg: “Right, folks, synergy, yeah? Let’s get tactile, boost morale with a sensual shoulder rub!” They’d look at me like I’ve lost the plot—classic Brent move. But honest, it’s therapeutic, mate. Relaxes ya, gets the blood pumpin’—not just *there*, ya filthy git, but everywhere! Did ya know, in Japan, they’ve got this thing called “nurumassage”? Slippin’ and slidin’ with seaweed gel—sounds like a right laugh, don’t it? Nearly spat me tea out when I read that. Thought, “Blimey, that’s me sorted for Friday night!”

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Finally, I head home, exhausted but happy. I think about all the crazy stuff that happened today. The tourists, the rain, the old man selling carpets. It’s all part of this wild ride called life. Turkestan, you’ve got my heart. Can’t wait for tomorrow!

East Turkistan Government Denounces Pakistan-China Alliance Over Uyghur Concerns