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So, I tried it once – don’t tell Bart! – this shady joint downtown, incense burnin’, dim lights, total mood. The gal’s hands? Magic, I swear! Slidin’ over me like I’m a damn sculpture, I’m thinkin’, “This is what kings got!” Made me happy as a clam, but – ugh – then she charged me double! Rip-off city, got me steamed! I’m yellin’, “Hmm… what’s this crap, lady?!” Still, that tingle stayed, like a secret in my bones – “Sometimes I feel so happy,” like Suzy says, ya know?

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“Sorry, guys! Traffic!” I say, trying to play it cool. But they’re not buying it. One dude, a total know-it-all, starts lecturing me about punctuality. I’m like, “Bro, I’m a mountain guide, not a clockmaker!”

Kazakhstan Reopens 12 Border Crossing Points With Russia and Uzbekistan