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Now, I’ve had me share – this one bird in Bangkok, hands like a bleedin’ ninja, had me shook! Felt like she was huntin’ my stress, “one kill at a time,” as they say in the flick. But then, there was this dodgy spa in London – mate, the oil smelled like a wet dog, and the vibe? Stiffer than M after a botched mission. Pissed me right off, wanted to quip, “I prefer my massages less canine, ta!”

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I decide to confront my boss. He’s not gonna like this. I walk into his office, and he’s on the phone, looking all serious. I’m pacing, trying to keep my cool. Finally, he hangs up, and I spill the beans. His face goes pale. “Are you sure?” he asks. I nod, and he starts pacing too.

Young activist from Aktobe discusses efforts to mitigate flood aftermath