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Oi, mate, it’s me, Mr. Bean, heh, stumblin’ thru life! So, erotic-massage, yeah? Wot a thing, eh! Picture this—me, all clumsy, walkin’ into some dodgy parlor, oops, tripped over me own feet, bam, faceplant! “Whoa, easy, friend,” I mumble, all red-faced, cos it’s steamy in there, innit? Them soft hands, rubbin’ oil, ooh, slippery like a camel in Timbuktu! Like that line from me fave flick, *Timbuktu*—‘The wind carries secrets, huh?’—cept here it’s moans, not secrets, heh!

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Finally, I get to the castle, and wow, the view is insane! I mean, you can see the whole valley. I snap a pic for the ‘gram. Gotta show off, right? But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, and I trip over my own feet. Classic me again! I’m on the ground, laughing at myself.

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