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Oh, and da laughs – one time, dis john’s pants fall mid-deal, she’s cacklin’, “Nice moves, slick!” – I nearly choke on my vodka, hah! Sarcasm’s her shield, I dig dat. Me, I’d say, “Yer better dan dese losers, girl,” but she’d just shrug, “It’s da gig, Gru.” Drives me nuts, but I get it – survival, yah?
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After that, I decide to hit up the local market on Rue de la Libération. Fresh produce, right? I’m all about that healthy life. I grab some apples, and this lady next to me starts chatting. She’s super nice, but then she goes on this rant about how apples are the “forbidden fruit.” I’m like, “Lady, chill. It’s just an apple.” But she’s all deep and philosophical. I’m just trying to figure out if I should get the red or green one.
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